This is for you

This is for you.

I know you.

You’re looking for something, aren’t you? Still, you quite don’t know what to look for. You wake up in the morning trying to figure out how the day ahead will be unfolding but then you just remind yourself that you can deal with whatever is coming your way (I mean, I can do this, right?). So with time you’ve learnt to go with the flow as much as possible… but it’s freaking hard sometimes.

I know you.

You spend hours sitting there, staring at your pen and trying to write down on paper what’s been burning inside of you all along, but you get more and more frustrated, as the the clock’s ticking becomes the only thing you can concentrate on. It’s only in the most inappropriate moment that the gates of your mind finally open and you’re able to transform blurred images into words. Over and over again, until your hand hurts.

I know you.

You come back home at night and you throw your wrinkled blouse onto the messy chair under the even messier table, while you accurately fold your pants and replace them in that old wardrobe.

I know you.

You spend an entire afternoon delighting in the sight of that little bird picking at the leaves on the tree in front of your window, but waiting for something to arrive might be your worst nightmare ever, as you become increasingly restless and, quite frankly, a little bit obsessed.

I know you.

You are capable of climbing a mountain all the way to that anchor up there, feet shaking and fingers shivering, but the mere idea of changing your hairstyle chills you to the bone.

I know you.

You exhale the smoke of your cigarette curling your lips with a graceful and meditating movement. Still, you unroll your yoga mat every damn morning.

I know you.

You feel the things around, under and inside you so deeply and profoundly it physically hurts you, so you’d rather seek certainties that could make you feel comfortable and safe even if only for a little while, as if you were snuggling under that fluffy blanket of yours on a lazy weekend.

I know you, beautiful soul.

You’re scared.

I am too, dear one. Look at yourself in the mirror. Go do it right now. Open your eyes. Slowly strip yourself of the insecure patina that’s  keeping you under wraps. What do you see? I hope it’s precisely what I see. An intelligent, strong, beautiful, delicious person. You amaze me.

That light surrounding you, it never fades. Even when you close yourself up from the beauty of the world and fail to notice it, it’s still there. And I’m telling you, it’s okay. It’s okay to not recognize that lively, burning fire that you are, from time to time; it’s okay to get dimmed by fear, because you’re growing up. You’re evolving and ever changing. You’ve had your fair share of painful goodbyes, you have to learn to soothe your soul after your heart has been shattered and to leave familiar places and people for some mysterious and scary destination.

But, what if? What if you’re settling and not realizing it?

This is what terrifies you. Damn, even just admitting it to yourself frightens the hell out of you. You know the present moment is all you will ever have, that inhaling and exhaling perfectly grounds you, that letting your future be cradled by fear and anxiety is like holding a burning rock between your scorched fingers.

But still. What if?

And you just can’t stop wondering, until it eventually breaks you.

So let me tell you this. It’s really not about shutting down the doubtful part of your brain, it’s actually acknowledging it that will do the trick. Noticing the diarchy that is your Essence WILL be enough. I promise you that. Equally loving your restless and security-seeking mind and your fearless, aware, vibrant spirit is going to save you from your doubts and your fears will come crumbling down in no time.

Now, let me ask you this: which part of you will you listen to? Which part will you allow to be your compass?

Choose wisely.

You got this.

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